About 6 years ago I finally, actually, completely, and officially left a toxic relationship. I left the relationship at my highest weight (about 155lbs). I had been at the receiving end of several jabs about my weight, while simultaneously being forbidden to go to a gym and being nearly force-fed donuts. It was a weird, sad, but totally delicious time in my life (thanks only to the donuts).
When the relationship finally ended, I had all of this time to think. And that's exactly what you don't want fresh out of a break-up, so I joined the local Golds Gym. It really became like a home away from home for me, and some of the members and classes became like little cultish families. Over the course of about a year I got as fit as I've ever been (still, not that fit by some standards, but pretty damn fit). It was at this point in my life when I met my future husband, Shawn. A fit fanatic, who also used to have some extra poundage.
|Probably my fittest.. thanks T25 and Shaun T! Halloween - I was Ygritte... kinda... ok, I was slutty Ygritte|
Shawn and I have now lived together for a little over 4 years. Slowly, as I grew my life with Shawn, and developed friendships in the Denver area, my time for working out diminished. I really quit prioritizing it after we got married (god, what a cliché!). I've been trying to get back into, because now I've reached an unhappily familiar weight (147). I feel embarrassed when I look at pictures of myself. I feel touchy about the subject with my loved ones (my tiny, tiny, tiny mother and my still active husband). I literally have to hoist my pants up sometimes. Its like I need suspenders. My love handles are bigger than my butt.
|Migraine girl - to the |
Anyways - this post isn't about body shaming myself into oblivion. This post is an excited post. About a week and half ago I just randomly started eating better because I was annoyed with myself for letting it get this far. Once I started, I really didn't want to stop! I did some research into how to ease back in to working out (I have chronic migraines - basically everything triggers them including... you guessed it! High intensity exercise! This rules out stuff like P90X, Crossfit *tried*, kickboxing *tried*). I found an easy to follow 7 week 5k training plan that I'm following (4x a week), I walk my portly, middle-aged pug 5x a week, and I ride Gavin about 4x a week. Throw in a couple of days of weight training and voila - you've got a decent workout regime.
I'm trying to be totally honest about the journey - so I had Shawn take a couple of pictures of me. This is me at 147lbs, 5'4 (dammit - why can't I be 5'10 and have more room for donuts?!?!). Anyways - I'm excited to keep putting one foot in front of the other and make it happen.
I guess I'd like to lose 17 lbs (130 lbs), but for my body type that's pretty difficult to get to. I'll be happy to just fit into my clothes better.
Anyone have any suggestions or weight loss stories they'd like to share?